Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
