Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
operation have a gay friend backfired
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
