I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
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I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
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hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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