this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Text me some of your sweat
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
