the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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