Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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