He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
