Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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