Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
