We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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