the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize