Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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