i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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