I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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