Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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