His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize