So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
