we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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