I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
