I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
