Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
