I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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