Kareoke will never be a sober sport
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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