she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
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just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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