You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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