She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
