This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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