I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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