Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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