Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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