Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
