Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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