worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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