Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
