Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
