The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
