Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
