Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
