literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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