She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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