You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
