let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
