If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
