I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
