The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
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Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
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The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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