I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
