I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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