Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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