If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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