tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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