Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
