Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
