He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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