do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize