dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I looked at my own cervix.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
