My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
